Successful People Know How To Say No — Here’s How

As a leader, knowing when to say no is important. Knowing how is equally as important.

Previously published on Forbes

A month or so ago, a friend and colleague asked if I’d speak at a conference that she chairs. Because I value our relationship, I really, really wanted to say yes. But saying yes would also mean I’d have to move a vacation that my husband and I booked a year in advance and have been looking forward to.

Deep down, I knew that I just couldn’t say yes.

Even so, I put off responding to her for several weeks. I kept trying to talk myself into it. I said to myself, “After all she’s done for you, you can’t do this one thing for her?” And “It’s not that big of a deal! Just say yes and be done with it!”

But none of this sat right with me. I knew what I needed to say: No.

I sent her a note, and she was incredibly gracious. She told me not to give it a second thought and thanked me for considering her request. And I felt immediately relieved. So relieved.

That’s how I know the decision was a good one — relief follows.

Why, then, did I have such a hard time saying that one little word?